Bacon Milkshake

(For 4 servings)

  • 1 pound of bacon!
  • ½ Cup of Whole Milk (Skim or lowfat for the wussies. But, c’mon, it’s bacon! Your diet went out the window when you started reading this article.)
  • 2 ½ tablespoons of Maple Syrup (the darker, the better for syrupy goodness)
  • 1 teaspoon of salt
  • 9 scoops of Vanilla Ice Cream (this you can vary on how creamy and Vanilla-y you want it)
  • Whipped Cream (as an optional topping, but we strongly adhere to using it)


  1. Fry or microwave that bacon. We don’t care how you cook it; you just need to get lots of that delicious bacon fat. You really won’t be using the bacon strips, but they’re fun to eat, aren’t they?
  2. Collect all the fat in a bowl/cup and set it aside. You want the fat cooled a little – still in liquid form but not piping hot.
  3. Do whatever you want with the bacon. Eat it, store it, use it as a mustache, create a likeness of Kevin Bacon with crumbled pieces, use them for swordplay… we don’t care. Just don’t throw it away. That’s blasphemy.
  4. Put the milk, maple syrup, salt, and ice cream in the blender.
  5. Now gather 4 Tablespoons of the bacon fat and pour it into the mix. Blend it up!
  6. Pulse it on a lower setting. You will have to occasionally push down the mixture into the blades to get it fully blended. (Obviously when the blender is off, you dolt!) Continue the transition between blending and pushing down until it’s all blended up into an even, delicious mixture.
  7. When it’s done, pour it into glasses and top with whipped cream if you so desire. Crumble up some bacon and garnish the whipped cream with the pieces.
  8. Get a straw… Pretty sure you know how to take it from there.

Enjoy your bacon milkshake!


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